"I'm not even what the mirror reflects to be. In my mind, walks and talks the little me, in a form that you would never see."
- Bob
See, something as spontaneous as that can't come from my own sane awareness. It must be Bob. You don't just grow outside of me, your roots must have struck deep inside my skull.
Anyways, last week I was supposed to post something for Go Skate Sundays. But something has put me off my mood, my feelings. We were perfect for each other, for months we've put up with each other's shit. I swore, the times we had together, were the ones I had the most honest fun, ever. But, how long can you hover til' reality would snip the cord. No matter how strong, how thick, I know, WE know, it will eventually wear down. Crackle. Pop. And snap. I broke your heart, you broke mine, we broke up. Rest in splinters, my love ;
Love is to let go.
Holy noodles, the cheese from the last paragraph could've fed the whole world, for a year, and a half.
Anyways, it's not fair to let the spirit of Go Skate Sundays die even if I died a little inside. So, here's Haziq Hom Hom Termenong. Shredding with all awesomeness :
You can see more of Haziq (and his passion for the Dim Mak crew) in ShiftyMag's August issue.
Haziq loves his fans so much, that he wrote and signed all that with his broken right arm
Of all the days in a week, Sunday is the awesomest for us to get that wood on wheels and just shred Taman Paramount. The weather's nice, the clouds are behaving but most importanly, everyone's there, meaning more pysche-juice to pump us all up. The vibe is just amazing.
Matt, spontaneously named the fateful day, and all Sundays to come,
"Go Skate Sundays" . (y)
Mampus ah poyo.
So, in tribute of Go Skate Sundays, I'll post videos recorded at Taman Paramount, or any where else for that matter up here once in a while. Don't expect a triple kickflip to nose-blunt slide hardflip out or some crazy shit like that, but what the heck, we're having fun.
So, for this week, here's a lil somethin-somethin :
Me bailing my ass a million times. 1 tre flip out of 92380912309 tries.
I tried cramming the whole first week of Raya into one post, and it stretched all the way to Mexico and back. I always lose points in the summary part in high-school English tests. And that one particular incident of which I accidentally put a smiley ":)" in a real essay, leaving it to be circled with the most vicious blood-red strokes that could ever be done with a ball-point pen.
Anyways, Raya this year went above the slightly same ol' - same ol' . Not to say the old same ol'- same ol' wasn't fun, but Raya was losing a little of it's shine due to modernization and less duit r-I mean spirit. But this year is a little different, 2009 pretty much picked up the old dusty Ruby of Raya, and polished it back up with a tooth brush to a shiny sparkle. Open houses were aplenty, with more people and more Rendang-smeared smiles. Baju-Melayu's pocket was a little heavier with duit-raya envelopes. And good food to help expand the ever progressing bussiness of Waistline And Co.
A few vital things were missing tho, like not going back to our kampung this year. Not one fire-cracker was lit, even a fire-flower (bunga api, can't recall what the heck it is in english) wasn't waved around in circles in the air. And like how I imagined I'd look like by this time of the year, it didn't match. Real bad. Well, there's always next year. And that's the exact same quote that had been said since 2004.
But there's some other thing that got lit,
My frikkin car.
On Sunday night,
It was a fun night ride, me driving the guys around for a change. We went to this snooker place. The place was dimly-lit, and the sofas were torn. It sure did radiate a vibe of badass-ness. I could've almost imagined a big bald biker dude in a leather vest, holding a pool cue stick in one hand, and a mug of beer on the other sneering at me everytime I want to check out his handlebar moustache from the corner of my eye.
Later, Pithang wanted to test-drive the Beetle. So, he did. Luckily the roads were empty, or we could've been thrown a bunch of middle-fingers synchronized beautifully with car honks. But it's normal, I can't even make the car go past 20 steps away from my house the first time I wanted to try it for a spin. And no, Pithang wasn't the one who lit the car on fire.
We had a late-night supper at Saji after that. We talked, we ate, and we made fun of your pants. The night got late, so we went off.
Just as I drove a mere few inches from the place, suddenly I smell the unmistakable smell of fire-crackers and went ; "Siapa bakar mercun pagi-pagi buta ni ? " .
I spoke too soon.
Seconds after that, blankets of smoke began rising out from the back. Sure, the guys were smoking in my car, but the smoke was too thick to be made from even 10 stressed-out smokers. And my car definitely couldn't fit 10 people. Something was going terribly wrong, said Captain Obvious. We stopped and we ran for cover and screamed "SHE'S GONNA BLOWWWW !!!11!1!!"
No we didn't. We did what most panicked, clueless teenagers would do.
Be camwhores :
Say smoked cheeeese !
CAK !
Look how worried Aiq is.
When I called my parents, my dad said to lift the seat up and press this red button to launch us into space. We did, but the Oxygen wasn't as nice as Earth's, so we came back. Then, I saw this under the seat :
See that dark part in the Mastika-style red circle ? . That's the part that caught on frikkin smokes and warmed Pithang's ass.
The car didn't literally caught on fire. There was just a LOT of smoke. I was lucky I stopped early, or else if I drove the car a few seconds too long, Sean Kington's be calling 911 alright. This is the second time that this had happened, the first time was when my dad was driving it a long time ago. AND IT REALLY CAUGHT ON FIRE. And I swear to God, some guy who just happened to have a fire extinguisher came rushing in for the rescue. Alhamdulillah. Call it coincidence, or karma or whatever. But I'm sure it's God's way to show that if you do good things, good things will happen to you, and at times, in the most miraculous way ever. And my mom and dad has been doing countless, honest, good things alright. This is not just the only incident, there are loads more to prove this, but maybe I'll tell it in some other post.
Anyways, my dad told me what had caused the *almost* fire. You see, what's under the seats were husks, sabut kelapa. It certainly looked and felt like one. And knowing husks, they aren't so tough when they meet fire, or anything else for that matter. The battery, right here ;
..may had spit a few sparks. And the sparks, in contact with the non-padded husks, must had been the one that set it ablaze. Cause if you look really closely at the battery, the part where wires are connected to it, there are bits of silvery discharge around it. I don't know what that is, but that's the thing that could've almost killed the car, and us.
The solution was to just take one of the rubber mats, and pad the battery so it won't come contact with the bottom of the seats. Nice maneuver MacGuyver !
Holy shitting shit, I haven't felt this way for quite a long while now. This familiar feeling has crawled back out from the darkest depths of damnation, to haunt my inner sanity once again. Raging oceans of restlessness are dwelling inside me as I'm typing this. Fingers, they lightly shiver. Sweat, they slowly bead through the forehead. Oxygen, is transferred quick as heck. Life, it got kicked by the testicles by a studded boot.
I was stupid, then ran out of luck, then back to stupid, still with Lady Luck out there getting wasted in Vegas, while I'm here under this ladder of 13 steps with 13 black cats encircling me. When will she come back, that question can only be answered by Lady Luck's godfather, Father Fate.
You know what's worse than not being privileged to stand on the podium ? . It's standing on the 2nd post. Or 3rd. The glimmer of your medal will never ever match that shine beaming out from the gold. But the crowd's watchin, and the confetti's rainin' , so you better keep on smilin' kid.
I don't even know if I'm happier this way, as I never actually got to taste the juice of joy on the other side, which can only be entered by pairs. If that bouncer's not gonna stop looking at me like that, I swear I'm gonna tie his neck with his own tongue. Oh well, the acid river of self-esteem is guarding the way anyhow.
I'm sorry belly butterflies, I guess you guys are all doomed to be stuck in your respective cocoons for a while now. It can take up to a few weeks, months, years or maybe a couple of eternities, just hang in there alright. At least, you won't have the chance of getting pummeled and pulverized by the deathly berserk of that heart-shaped bitch. The cocoons are the bubbles, and you guys are the Bubble Boys.
Captain Obvious came to the rescue and beat the hell out of Abomination Assumption. Thanks CO , here's your tip. A scarred remain of the pulmonary artery, that at one point was sworn to be flowing rainbows and sprinkles in it. Now the veins are all just streaming black bile and slimy spiky bits.
The truth is, I still do. And it's my fault, for doing nothing. Waiting for IT to happen, and NOT making it happen. I don't even know if it's ego blocking the way, or shyness, or the absence of balls, or just plain stupidity, but I feel like shit now. Even shit feels better than I do, all warm and mushy. Ahh, warm and mushyyy. I missed that.
Now knowing what to fix, let me get to that before getting back on this now, forbidden track.
And Phossy Jaw makes your face f-in glow in the dark ! . And that's randomness for you.
The Raya post is on it's way, wait for that and ignore this bullturd :)
One of these days, this, THIS, would drag me down a spiraling abyss of pitch-black despair. Which I'll never be able to get up from, or see sunlight ever again. Or see that ray of sun, as a radioactive beam of skin-melting damnation.
Not that I'm already sitting in one shady corner, slitting my wrist and writing bad poetry with the black blood I bleed, or am I intending so. But there's this thing that's recently has been involuntarily, controlling the major part of my brain. The part where you rationalize and sort out things with logic.
But , since things you would normally derive from logic has been contradicting itself now, you have to be extra careful. And careful as in, stripping every living flesh of trust from the meat of rationality.
Or to put it simply, when you're as heck sure, have you never been this sure in your entire life, ever, that "D" comes after "A B C" , that's when suddenly "Q" or "X" pops out of nowhere and tuck itself just comfortably there.
Or like, preparing your tastebuds for the awesomeness of ice-cold cola, to only be scarred with a melting torrent of black, unsweetened coffee.
I used to really look forward to it. It's good to you know, at times, just to release everything and walk away with a dreaded burden lifted. At time it's easy, and at times it's pretty hard. But I know I'll pull on through.
But now that it hurts, real bad, I just wish that I won't do it anymore. But it's inevitable, it will just come by like a thunderstorm, rude and sudden. When it rumbles, something's gonna tumble alright.
*Just so you know, this a part two of this . Or you can just scroll down.
Anyhoo,
Holy shit, this is super-super late, I know. You've all the right in all of cosmos to still hold up that snot covered middle finger, and shake it more vigorously this time. I'm sorry, time and inspiration were being total bitches and won't let me pass through my writer's block. So, close the lights, light some candles, shave your eyebrows or whatever to get you into the appropriate vibe.
So here it is, part friggin two :
While we were all pushing Pithang's car back to life, I stole a few glances to the darkness behind me. Why I did that was beyond myself, I swore curiosity and idiocy were the ones that jerked my neck's reflex. Luckily, there was no one smiling, and waving us goodbye. As soon as the engine started up, we all scurried inside the car and got out from the place like it's gonna explode. I surely felt it in my head that there's suddenly gonna be a faint chuckle coming out from the darkest corner of the house that soon heightens to a maniacal, almost hysteria-like howl as the words "To be continued" slowly becomes clearer on the screen.
Haziq, known for his awesome skateboardship, was also known for his undeniable ability of spacing out into nothingness. And did he space out. So spaced out he was, that Nabil had to shout his name twice for him to snap away from his termenung trance. That's when he said restlessly that he can't get the image out of his mind. What image ? . The image of ,
A huge stain of dried up crimson blood, splattered across the bathroom floor.
And no, that's not some emocore lyrics I just pasted, he really said he saw what he said he saw.
And being the Uncle Seekers we all are, we started to make assumptions, what could the blood had come from. Haziq guessed, the aftermath of a bloody murder. But it can't be because the blood was only on the floor, if there was an actual bloodshed, blood would be everywhere in the doggamned cubicle, or trails leading to a place our balls won't let us follow. So, the next best guess was a rubber-less mistake ; someone had an abortion. Because the blood was near walls of which, the supposed-to-be-mom, would comfortably lean her back against it. But hey, that's just us.
We gathered at Kayu at The Curve to have our Sahur. Sleepy Mamak's on the end of their shifts, made me and Haziq to have our roti telur on the edge of sahur time. Anyways, I did tell in part one, that only Haziq Menung, Apek Max and Aiq Romero saw the blood stain.
We were all in it together, so we all should see the blood patch together right ? . Yeap, we can't spell team without meat(?) can't we. So, we planned another visit to the place one more time.
Anyways, we needed a rest, so we hanged around Shell for a while.
Sleep deprived teenagers running on left-over adrenaline, given an empty petrol station and a free street to roam would normally fruit consequences such as :
Don't try this at home kids, or with people around.
And other antics such as Nabil got ditched when he was taking a crap, and his pants was in the car. Experimenting fashion with jeans tucked into socks. And getting excited seeing, and chasing a bird that just wouldn't goddarned fly. Not that he couldn't , he's just lazy.
Sock'em to em
Wait,
How did a splatter of blood, lead to a bouncing birdy ? .
By the way, I gotta be honest with yeh. As you would logically guess, the sun had already risen, and our balls had grew back to normal.
Anyways, our next spot ;
A lone house just beside the highway near Damansara Perdana.
The spot is said to have been featured in Seekers, so you know you're in for some serious shit. And boy, am I right ; There had been shit alright. Bat shit. Loads of it. Decorating every inch of the floor and debris. Walking on tip-toes isn't exactly the manliest looking thing to compliment your smug of bravery. But I ain't gonna shit-stain my shoes.
Other than the bountiful bat brown blobs, there were also a bunch of actual bats, searing above a mere inches above our heads with vengeance. VENGEANCE I TELL YOU. As displayed by one of the most epic video in the history of pants moistening scream.
Look at Pithang and how cool and calm he is, walking about the room like a real man. "Ah he'll be fine" as I let him be with his balls of steel while I join the rest of the gro..
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHGHGH !" ,
A blood curdling, gender-altering scream suddenly came out of nowhere, as a familiar figure sprinted out of the room with his hands clutching his head. Oh shit, what did he saw to make a man of his magnitude to burst into an ear-splitting scream ? A decomposed, maggoty body wrapped in a bag ? , A woman in blood-stained white cloth with long unruly hair, or a leprechaun humping a pink chihuahua ?
Turned out, when he was heroically opening a closet door or something, a battalion of bats suddenly burst out from there into his face, making him to totally go from heroic, to hysterics. From us being super shit serious, to be all giggly, giggling in guilt.
If you continue on the video, let's say around 2:15, you will see this and your laughing will immediately put to a halt..
......
A critter's skull, a dog's perhaps, just laying there in the middle of the room, coldly staring at us with it's eyeless bony socket. Watching, judging our every move. If a dog died there naturally, then where are the rest of the skeletal remains ? . A black metal ritual that someone forgot to clean up after ? , of what's left from a redneck's log cabin decor ? .
Your guess is just as good as mine.
The bats were starting to get territorial, so we got the hell out and finally went to Bukit Tunku, for the second time.
The place still looked pretty creepy in the morning. The vibe it radiates was something like "Oh how nice it is for all of you to come back" , said in a very welcoming tone, but at the same time, it suspiciously sends shivers all the way down from your spine to your spleen.
"Oh how nice it is for all of you to come back, cookie ? "
This is the place :
Come innn.
Remember the stairs that lead to your darkest nightmares ? Well, it ain't too dark now.
Tengok Haziq termenung
Alright Pithang, no bats.
EP coming out in November.
Long story short, here's the video of our tour :
And not forgetting :
The blood splat I kept talking about,
Fine, it might just be a bad piping. But then again, it's a bit too thick, and a lot of dust have accumulated over the time must had darken it. And have you ever left blood to dry and clot, and noticed the colour ? . Yeah, my thought exactly.
You be the judge.
The morning's still young, and our eyelids aren't showing signs of slowing down yet. So we went up the "Bukit 3D" for our little morning stroll. Bukit 3D is because, like in old racing video games, even if you're moving forward, the background stays still like painted cardboard.
Brakebroke Mountain.
All the houses, were pretty much all the same. It's almost like re-entering the same house three times. I'd post videos again, but it's gonna get heavy as post-raya weight gains. So here are the highlights ;
There was this door. OR MORE LIKE THE DOOR OF DEATH. 'Cause when you open it, this..
AWAITS
The stairs. that used to lead downstairs, had been demolished, making curious wanderers at night to go :
A: Hey, let's check this door ouUUUUARGH.. *Splek !*
And a little guess, which school the kid that used to live here used to go ?
Hm, awfully familiar colour scheme, amirite ?
There was a short note laying on the ground,
"Meeting with Izhar"
No, we don't wanna meet you Izhar.
There was a photo album too. The pictures looked very old , judging by the big hairdos and tucked-in shirts galore, it just might came from the 60's. Something about it gave me the shivers. Maybe the fact that looking at the album, MIGHT just be as equal as looking at the obituary section ? . IM JUST SAYING.
NO, NOT A POSTCARD ,
"Everything's great here, the weather's just nice and the flowers are pretty. You know what, I wish you were here. It's quite lonely laying here all alone, cold and rotting. I know, I've a better idea, how about if I come to your place instead ? . Great. Give me ten minutes. .... Alright babe, I'm here. Turn around ;)
Turn. Around.
Alright fine, it just wrote something about Tokyo, and I heard about Pithang reading Bangsar too. And it was in the year 19-f'in-90 .
And the last but not the least,
What would this ,
A chair with a gaping hole (that let's say, would fit both of your feet ? ) , placed conveniently on top of a table.
+
This on the ceiling, A hole that something had once clutched on it, made. LIKE MAYBE I'M JUST GUESSING, A ROPE WITH SOME KNOTS MAYBE ?
...would conclude to you ? .
Shit. Gulp. Gallon. Of. Glob.
There was this chair that was just right in front of a rustic mirror. I was so close to taking a picture, til', you know, reflection, you know. Full bladder, you know. Phone getting eternally possessed you know.
But it did look something like this ,
Mirror mirror on the wall, who has the wettest pants of all ?
Then that was it. We finally headed out. And just shortly after that, we heard a loud rumble up in the sky. We looked up and we saw a helicopter with a flag, and was spraying red smoke. GODDAMNN, MERDEKA PARADE. Never went to one since forever, and everyone was just as psyched.
So next stop, Dataran Merdeka.
We arrived at around 9, and guessed what ? . The roads where you'd expect marching bands and tanks to roll on, were dead empty. Maybe, it hasn't started we thought. Good going for the traffic polices to burst our bubbles with ;
"Dah habis lah dik, start pukul 8"
What the hell-ichopper ? . THAT, early ? . What about your Janji Melayu huh ? . Aight fine, there's always next year, and the next, and the..Shit, I really wanted to see the tanks.
We thought all hope was lost, til we saw this..
THE MERDEKA MOBILE !
And we followed it's trails, and was met with this lot :
The pakcik in purple was the one who took this picture, Would be awesomer if he's in this.
AND WE GOT FREE FLAGS :D
You know how I always complain how short the days are becoming, right ? . Then again, who am I to bitch, when all I do on such fine mornings, was sleeping, snoozing and snoring ? . This day sure felt like one of the longest day, and definitely one of the awesomest evaarrrr :) . Hope I will see the tanks next year (y)
