Thursday, April 30, 2009

What Worries Me Is Whatever's Watery

As of 25th Of April 2009

BLUBBUbubublublublulub *sinks in underwater

Today's been wet and wowesome, and wild (I'm dedicating this to Bob) . WE WENT TO A WATERWALLL, I mean, waterfall. And the waterwall got on fire.
(Alright, you may ignore this paragraph, all filled with inside jokes)

Ho man, haven't been to a waterfall, for ages. Went to my last one when I'm still allowed to play in Ikea's playhouse. And it had a big fat diaper floating on it, holy f-k, and I almost drowned out of a little underestimation. Or maybe a lot. The next best thing I could do to experience a waterfall, was to close my eyes, flush a toilet and let my imagination run free (r).

Enough about that.

Someone said with a very Ketat face,

"Esok jumpa pukul 8.30 kau tau, bukan bangun pukul 8.30. Kau lambat, aku tinggal. Serious ni"

Turned out, I did wake up at 8.30, wait I think it was 8.40, and that was, e-early o.o . Thanks Eddy for waking me up with your "Wei kau dah siap ke belum ni ?"

Apu, or formerly known as Acap Myvi, picked me up. Homaigod, wasn't it nice to see him after so, sooo-h long :)

Gathered at Fariz Advanced before we moved out.

Little highlights of the journey :

The thingy on top of Zai's Kembara's car door, I think it's called a visor, frikkin fell off, in the middle of the highway. Nice double-sided tapin' Macgyver. The moment I saw the thing came off, whipped up my phone and texted him :


..twice, as moments after that, Azman took another one in.

Somewhere along the journey, we took a short pit-stop to enjoy the view of a beautiful, crystal-blue water filled dam.

Damn, the dam was damned gorgeous. Damnnnn~

Not long after that, after crossing the metal bridge, we're finally there :

Rombongan Surau 4B

The sight of clear waters rushing through the rocks, plus the sound of the steady torrents splashing down.
Beats flushing toilets by 9998989 miles.

Highlights :

The cold stream against the skin, contradicting the hot sun was ah-mazing <3

How an emo(pshheahh -_-) dood, transformed to a fully-qualified Din the burger stall vendor with just one quick splash.

From this :

To this :

There's a part where there was a mini waterfall where you can just lay your back, or head against it for a free Ogawa session of mother nature.

One side of Mior's flip-flops swam away,

Muka hilang selipar

With the remaining one

How can you bathe in a river, without playing skipping stones. Could've done it all day

Cannonball into the water ? , flawless.

A jumping split ? , flawl-KYAKKKKKKKK (!!)

...As the pants ripped a giant hole near my crotch ever so gracefully.

10, 10 , 9.9

The water near the big waterfall was DEEEEH-P . And I don't know what lead me, Faye and Azman towards it. The next thing we know, we were all splishing sploshing trying to get to the surface. Amidst the struggle, I felt someone's back and I pushed him up to the surface, then later swam myself through the shallower part.


Azman : Eh kau eh yg tolak aku naik tadi ?
Me : Err, entah aku main tolak orang naik je tadi, kau eh tu ?
Azman : Ha'ah, kalau tak aku lemas dah doe tadi. Thanks weh.


Then when we wanted to get out of the water, EACH and every ONE of us, well most of us anyways, had foot cramps. My toe friggin bent 90 degrees downwards, how the f-k did it do that.

And other antiques :)


After we're all done and dry, we went up, only to be greeted with the sight of..


Apu turned on his engine for too long while waiting for some of us to come up, and the above picture's the result. Sorry man :(

Later, we went to Eddy's house for some keropok's, kuih's and cekodoq's, they were nyummeh :9 .

Damnnnn, this day definitely marked one of the boldest circle in my '09 calendar, that's fer sure :)

Credits for the pictures :

Faye, Eddy, and few were editted by Mior :)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Chrome Bombs In Honeycombs

(Boomer of Left 4 Dead)

I, feel, like, this, guy.
Minus the ability to puke bile at will.

You know what, I think there's a party going on my face.

Lately, I've been having untimely breakouts, (when's a right time anyways, unless it's Halloween maybe) . Alright fine, so at one phase of life, now deeply regretted, I've been not washing my face properly, imagine sleeping right after hours of sweaty late night skate sessions. Repeated a few days a week.

But now that I'm aware that my cheeks are now getting as bumpy as a bar of Reese's Nutrageous, I've been keeping up with my face-cleansing routine.

Now here's the thing. At one time, I felt that my left cheek's clearing up, it felt smoother than before while my right one's still moon-surface-ish. Alright fine, slowly but steadily I thought.

THEN, now that my right one's getting more presentable, my left one's acting up again. It's not like when I wash my face, I only wash right cheek on Monday, and left cheek on Tuesday and so forth. I friggin smothered it all over, like it was birthday cake or somethin'.

I shall put it like : Right cheek is party place A, got busted, then it moved to party place B the left cheek. Not forgetting the smaller parties too, like one time, one grew on the side of my nose, vanished, the next day,


Parents (in the form of supple, baby bottoms) of the respective party hosts, when will you be home and whoop the asses of all the party peopl- I mean pimples out of my fahhh-ce ?


Anyhoo, this is just a sidepost of what's really coming. Saved it in my drafts oledi, just waiting for the pictures. So, stay tuned ? :)

Friday, April 24, 2009

Darned Drones Draining My Drink

HAWWWWMAIGOHDD, I am finally over with the most tedious assignment so far. Never have I felt an assignment took a toll, as much as this one. Stayed up til' 7 (7am, mind you) doing it yesterday, and towards the end of it, I can see black dots pulsing in around my vision. HOLY CRAP, I don't even wanna Google on why the f-k did that happen.

Then again, there's noone here to blame, unless Procrastination's a person, I'd surely tie him with C4's and throw him off a cliff or something. The deadline's on Monday, l-la-lasttt Monday. Sigh, Mr Lim, have mercy on me.

Mother, if you're reading this, have mercy too.

One of the other reason why's the assignment been dued to such an extent, is my inability to focus on being focused. I was like, finished with one paper (out of 20++), then I'd like walk around, check out the fridge, go online, and the ultimate time waster, take a snooze. The amount of time wasted, if used well enough, would've made me complete the darned assignment a few days ago.

Bottomline, concentration's the keyword here. I need to concent..Eh lookie (!) , a pwetty butterfly.

Holy crap, I'm screwed.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Brown Clown Bows Down And Frowns

I thought I've lost my wallet. Stopped myself from falling into a trauma and run around in circles by telling myself that it's not missing, it's just misplaced, somewhere, in the house, which I've searched everywhere inside out. Tried not to think there's a giant tear near the backpocket of my jeans, where I usually put my wallet in. Tried not to think of all the bloody hassles of having to redo everything :

My ATM card (and who knows if I were to do it again, it won't be the one with the cherries on it, I love cherries :( )

My IC (which I honestly, do not mind if I have to retake the picture, it looked more like a male maid permit, rather than an IC) ,

My "L" license (Sure it's still a noob L, but it'd allow me to drive)

Not forgetting the precious valuables that are inside :

Money (Can't recall how much was inside, but with the ATM card missing..)

My Exeggutor credit card (Inside joke, do not bother, but it holds a bit of a sentimental value)


This gigantic proportion of a gut-wrenching dread, was finally cleared off when :

Rape the typo, I love cars

THANKS EDRA-, I mean Eddy, I DO OWE YOU A MILLION JUGS :D . For this, and for the other particular thing. Don't worry man, turn that frown upside down, we're here for you to mingle with :)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

For A Nickel, He'll Tickle Your Pickle

Imagine this,

You're in a streak of fast replies, and when suddenly, this shit happens :

You want to type a simple sentence, as such :

"So, what are you doing ?"

Simple ain't it. you go type,

So, what are (the keypad lag comes in) y (5 seconds) o (5 seconds) u

It gets on your nerve so you go berserk on your phone's innocent keypads, SPAMMMMMRGHH

The screen pauses for while,

And then, the backlight blacks out,

Soon the backlight goes back on again, yeay :D

But, now your innocent message shall look like this :

Hey, what are yoskajdlsajdksndjlasjdsadnnasdkj

The screen pauses, yet again, hoorah

Oh and here comes the killer part :D

Your screen turns white as snow, and kapoot* , then the phone f-in restarts itself.

Noice (y)

Ooohh boy, the excitement doesn't stop there, oh no

Ready ?

The phone will then take around 20 minutes to half an hours time, for the phone from hell to load itself, YEAP, 20 MOTHEREFFFINNN MINUTESSSSS!@#$%^&

Finally after forever, your phone's memory finally loads. You type back what you intended to send in the first place,

So, what are you doing ? (Still with minor delays but that's okay)-> Sending Message -> Message Sent -> Delivered To (insert name here)

You let out a sigh of relief, finally you said. Then, the once fast-paced messaging to-and-fro combo, has now lost it's streak, as the receiver takes a longer time than usual to reply to such a simple message. For about 6 hours later, a message comes in,

"Sorry, I fell asleep yesterday"

And you're aware of the fact that, this repeats 5 to 6 times a week,

Yes, I know.

Breathe in, bite your lips, pull your hair, pinch somewhere sensitive, to stop yourself from letting out a death punch to the nearest living thing around you.




But then again, this has taken too much of my time, and mostly, my precious life. SO, I decided, to finally send my phone to format it down to it's core last Tuesday. Yes, I did create a backup to every single message that once clogged up my memory like hairballs in a bathroom sink. So what, I just don't like deleting things permanently okay. It's like reading back a story if you read your messages from the back. And deleting one message is like ripping a page out. Keep the "????" signs on your head to yourself, I'm weird I know, but that's how I roll 8)

Sent it to Nokia Center in One Utama, watched a movie while waiting for the tech-wiz's to do his magic (The Shinjuku Incident wasn't all that bad, it was awesomee) . When I came to collect my phone, the bill came in to a whopping price of rm 400++ . WHATHAFAK o.o . He said that there were water marks in it, and the LCD's screwed up. But I think he just wanted extra commissions and a pat on his head by his Boss. I said, "Nvm lah, no need to repair, format pun format je la" .

Switched on my phone back, and THE MESSAGE MEMORY LOADED FOR A LIGTHNING 8 SECONDS :D . That felt refreshing. Haaaaah 8)

"You tauu, yr replying quite fast. Wow. Haha. Rasa Funny.."

Haha :)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

One Hundred And Sixty Eight Nuggets

This is as random as Rick Astley, but since I've nothing else better to do (Well, I've my Typography assignment, but that can wait), I've something for you guys to not give a damn about :

Onesix-friggin-tyeight man (!)

The pictures above, both showed the statistic of my Google Adsense, and in total I've made a dollar and sixty eight sense. Boo yeayh ($.$) . And in the other one, it showed 168 impressions.

Haha to those who's not aware of the significance of the number 168, well it's just simply the glorious date that I, Ahmad Ashraf bin Romli, descended on planet Eart..Blegh no need for over-dramatic sentences to just avoid looking like I'm promoting when's my birthday and have this post to secretly be a reminder to bring me presents, I swear to god that is not my intention, what's my real motive is to just state that, my favourite number is, one hundred and sixty eight :)

To the extent, that I picked my phone number to be 01*-*6868** . Then I picked my email to be ashruff168, and ignore how I spelled my name, who would've known, the period of time when I want to register an email, is the time, I secretly was a fan of Ruffedge. Curses. Then, I got over-excited when the number on a sticker in my phone's CE 168, etc..

Then, this habit, that subconsciously has embedded in me, of counting, eating, taking, picking, kicking, touching, tapping, everything that's connected to the number 168. For example, there's a plate of hot, freshly fried Cekodok, I would stay restless if I've only downed 3 pieces, I will take another one, to make it 4. Why 4 ? , because 4x4 would give out 16, and 4+4 would give 8, thus, 16 and 8, 168. We all know that it's almost impossible to only eat 4 of those banana-tasting, oversized mole, then I would not stop at 5, but will at 6, because 6 is in the number 168, 7, yes, because 1+6 ( because there's sixteen) is 7, and definitely 8, because it's August. This will stretch to eating 16 Cekodok, or if I still can't curb it in, I'll have 24, because 16+8 is 24. If let's say, I had a little too much, and I've lost count, then when I want to stop eating them, I would have my final four, or any particular, allowed number. Or else, it's gonna leave my tummy restless like it's expecting Diarrhea.

For example, if I'm practicing a new trick, I always take try no. 4 or any allowed number, to be lucky, just so that it'll tighten my focus to properly do that trick. Or, like, if my dad already went "ACAAFFF (he calls me that), masukkk Maghrib dah nak dekat ni" , I would go "Okay Pa, kejap last, last" . This will then leave me, to try the trick, for the 4th last time, or if there's no new trick, I would just conclude the day with kickflip-ing four times. This is only two, of the countless scenarios where I would apply this concept in. Believe it or not, I even made an imaginary guide on how this concept works, and what just don't, for example, the number thirteen, sure 1+3 is 4, but there's just something about number 13 that's unsettling (or maybe because it's just widely known as THE unlucky number, d'uhh).

Bunch of bullfaeces I know, but it's already went down as a habit, I can't kick it out, and I'm not bothered to do so. I'd still be excited if I see anything that's 168 (especially in trivial facts or birthdays) . Like this one time, where my cousin bought some two teen mags. I browsed through and in the Horoscopes session, BOTH, celebrities that were featured, in the starsign Leo, had their birthday to be the golden 16th of August. If I'm not mistaken, it was Madonna and Vanessa Carlton (Hee, she's cute) . Coincidence or what huh ? 8) . Felt lucky throughout the whole darned day.

Haha don't worry, I won't take it to extreme heights like, going to Sports Toto and go bet on number 1688, or 1681, 1686, etc, and go dig up a corpse and melt some chin oil or shit. Altho, I won't be surprised if I'd fork out a few hundred thousand bucks just so that my number plate will look like this ASH 168. HAHA . Neh. But do expect future random posts involving interesting encounters of the number 168 :)


Dangnangit, I've too much free time.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

An Auntie's Entity

Hoy, I mis*some text missing*


Motiveless post, but just felt like jotting that down (r)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Battered Up Bitter Butter

Apart from being one of my all time favourite skater, this guy's also a straight-up genius of his own goddarned league. Sure his theories and whatnots would not gain him a portrait in any physic's text books, or have his name to be a measure of something, but how his brain works, is just as epic as how his feet are. (Double Hardlip nyone' ?) . Get a load of this, and let it open a few switches on your brain that you thought you never had :

So here's my man, Donovan "ButteryAss" Strain

If you think that's bullcrap, then you're doomed to wear ties to work, and a Batik shirt to openhouses for the rest of your life.

Check out the other ButteryAssMondays too, awesomeness leaks in each of every one of them.
(Recommendations : ep . Grape Ice Cream, ep. ButteryAss Tricktips, ep. Grape Flips, etc)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Groovy Gravy Grave
Chekkauutt the banner my friend, FAYE, did for me. Awesomeness ain't it. I owe him a flamethrower too :D





vshuinqui-the-vlotuqstktllskdjlsdlaskd...BLAH !!!!, F - K THIS, IMMA HEAD OVER TO ENGRISH

...So therefore, I'm changing my art blog's url to a more keyboard friendly, :)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Wanting Wontons Would Not Win You One

Today's definitely not one of those "repeat-a-cycle" days, infact it's been fairly awesome :)

Today, I landed a trick,
( well make it trick(s) 'cause it's a combo of two, a kickflip and a fs boardslide), that I've been working on since forever. Although it moved on the rail at a whopping speed of a centimetre per hour, and the wheels came to a halt the moment the deck landed on the cement, but the feeling was, was, orgasmic. And no, I did not jizz in my pants.

I also sprained the same ankle, for the third time. And I know who's laughing the loudest, and I'm not surprised if she fell off the chair while she's at it, and would still not stop laughing, 10 minutes later. Thanks a lot for your ever comforting support, you numbnut -_- .

Eddy and Faye were already waiting outside my gate when I got home, and they've witnessed my Blanka-like post-skating hair. Got ready, and got an unsuspecting remark from Faye, "Eh cepat pulak kau siap eh Acap ?" . I sat proudly at the backseat, feeling proud of the tiny accomplishment that no one would've given a damn on. Then, on the discussion on where to go :

Eddy : Eh so nak pergi mana ni ?
Me : Jom makan kat Dani Salleh jom ?
Faye : Who the f- , tu bukan mamat college kita ke ?
Me : Eh ha'ah, apa nama tempat cina muslim tu ha ?
Faye : Tu Mohammad Chan Abdullah la.
Me : Eh ha'ah la, macam mana sial boleh jadi Dani Salleh.
Faye, Eddy : ....

Soon, when we got there

Eddy : Eh Muhammad Chan ke ? , aku dengar kau cakap Muhammad Shan tadi.
Me : ....

*btw Shan is an inside joke, that's what we call a middle-parted hairstyle, Belah Tengah. Perfect examples : Khai AF, Adam AF2 , and Tomok Newboyz

Malik joined us later, haven't seen the dude for ages, I sure do miss..his dad's nasi briyani. Haha jk bro. He seriously lost some serious weight. I looked down on my jelly belly the moment I took notice of his shrinkage, and let out a sigh.
Zai joined us, way wayy later, equipped with his parking skillz and his ever so trademark ketat face. Hish, Abang Bobok ni, cenyum la cikit. WTF, that scared me too, moving on..

Malik had to go back 5 minutes after Zai's arrival. We then moved on to Faris Advanced for Zai wanted a cheaper dinner. But damn, Abang Zack (the shisha guy) wasn't there.

Then, there were the repeated wake-up calls, thanks a lot guys :) . Eddy, I know if you were my therapist, you would've jumped out your apartment window by now, but thanks for bearing a lot with my crappity craps. And the rest of the gang too, manly chestbumps for tolerating my unintented nonsense, but like how they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day" , or heck, I don't think it was even built in two days, or three. Little by little, it'll be a hill lah :) (Sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit). By saying that, I'm not hoping for my manboobs to grow any bigger fyi.

Oh yeah, I got bored and played with the lighter to burn my receipt to a heart shape. As usual, it was an epic fail, but somehow, when one of the Ane' picked up the paper, it became an epic win. Why ? Because I heard he muttered
"Guruggagadalagaga-India Map-gurugalagadagaga" .
HOLY SHIT (!) , I FRIKKIN CREATED A MAP OF INDIA without even knowing how it looked like in the first place. The Ane' (which had a very unique Shan) , then showed off the receipt to his fellow Ane's . He even asked me if he can keep it. Fer sure mann (y) , go frame it up or something. When we all were walking back to our cars, I looked back, and I saw the Ane still showing off the India Map receipt . Man, I was as proud as hell. Another artwork appreciated.

See the resemblance ?

All and all, the ingredients of what makes a good day, today definitely covered most of it. Imma look up for some Rowan Atkinson's stand-ups. Later :)

Monday, April 6, 2009

Brittle Turtle Tilts And Topples.

Is it just me, or there's a mysterious rectangle that pops out around my banner, everytime I open my blog, and disappears the moment the page has loaded. Damn, whathef- is that o.o

Reminds me of the time, where hackers on Myspace managed to place invisible boxes, that hovers around tempting links such as "View my pics" , that will lead to a fake Myspace home page, asking you to log in again. The suckers will then suddenly be spamming "Girls aren't lying when they say size doesn't matter.." all over the place. Epic.

Shit, I just hope what's in my blog ain't that shit. Imma go and check some fishy HTML's.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Fatal April Apple Pt. 2

I think I found something in my disposal that's April Fool's worthy too, only it's not recorded on April Fool's , and today's not even April 1st to be uploading such videos in the first place, but who gives a rat's ass ain't it, or any critters's ass for that matter.

Check this one out :D :

*Featuring Faye (the one in blue)

Sorry for spoiling the video by rotating it, was for the sake of watching the video's in fullscreen on my phone, so I do not need to rotate my phone, but then again it's easier to rotate a handheld device, rather than a computer monitor, this won't happen again, SORRY !


Did you hear the big, wet SPLAPPPP (!) when the mop smooched his face ? . Damnnn that gotta hurt. The thing scared the shit out of him so bad that he fell flat on his butt. Poor fella had his tongue to taste like soap too, 'cause the mop bitch-slapped his face, with his mouth opened. C-CC-C-COMBOO. I'm sorry man, but you know how we roll :D . A MANN WALK ON THETHEDEDEDED MOOOOOOHNNN ! (inside thing) .

Well gimme some knuckles man, I was a victim before you. Curse you AzLAN-CAU ! . Haha peace V(n.n)V . Now where the f-k did that smiley came from.

Love you too bro (r)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Fatal April Apple

In honour of the 1st of April 2009, I've a little somethin' somethin' :D :



So practically the prank was pulled by replacing the cream of the Oreo, with a generous spread of good ol' TOOTHPASTE :D . And thanks for making the prank twice as epic by eating it with the twist-lick-dunk technique man, you licked it like a champ. How d'ya like the new mint-flavoured Oreo huhhhhh ? >:D . THAT'S FOR SHOOTING MY ASS WITH THEM BB-GUNS B-TCH !! . Hahahaa. Nice one VEYY, chill bro :)

Ain't the most original idea ever tho, my classmates did it wayyy back when I was in highschool. Oh and my friend Emily told me on MSN that she was a victim of the same twisted prank too (which the conversation started with me pranking her that I ran over a cat and was all panicky about it).

Oh and I wasn't let off the hook too. My mum's friend, which I call him Brian, usually will send me and my sister top up codes, each month. He's awesome I know. Earlier the afternoon, the codes came in, keyed it in, to no avail. Still not aware of what's the date, I told him "The top-up code's invalid lah Brian :/" with all pure gullibility. Then the reply, unsuspectingly I read, "HAPPY APRIL FOOOLSS ASHH ! :D " . Dangit. Haha, but then again without that, I wouldn't be aware that today's April Fool, therefore, there would be no such epic video as uploaded above. So thanks Brian ! :D

Happy April Fools do0dz and do0detteZ :) . Do share me your April Fool stories (y)