Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Thy Sentinel To Be Slain.

Fine, I am not a pessimist. But we all got to admit that it's hard to deny the very satisfaction of venting out. EVEN IF IT INVOLVES TYPING THE WHOLE GODDAMN THING IN CAPS LOCK !!!! . But I will not continue like that, for it will annoy the crap out of you, and even myself. The term "venting out" itself sounds like the flow of gas, and we all know how good "flow of gas" feels like. Ooo, yeea-hh-heh-hhh. And more often than not, the release will usually bring undesired reactions. But who the heckth care as long as, at the particular period of not giving a damn, you feel like you've just punched George W. Bush in the face.


Do I sound pissy ? , Do I sound like I'm choking someone with one hand, and typing with the other ? . Nehhh. Don't get me wrong, the whole day today was actually pretty productive, thus fun ! . But I gotta bring forth this one thing that happened today that left the blackest hole in my guts. I can't help but to pucker up all my insides every time this situation is recalled.

So here goes nothing,

T-TH-THHHE LAPTOPoo - Goddamn, I can't even begin to finish the sentence,


The laptop got f-in reformatted.

That was said in the straightest, tightest face I could muster, with a voice bordering on the tone of reading a suicide note.

Fine, wipe the "-_-" off yo' face. I exaggerated a lil' . But really, it's hard to wrap around your skull around the idea of absolute, unrecoverable, loss. The very thought of everything is gone. The pictures, the things I saved which are Error 404's now, the MSN convos, the transferred sms's, the webcam stills, the works, the notes, and everything in between, kapoof*, lost forever in the black, buttcrack of fate. How am I suppose to pull off the exact pose, with the exact face expression, at the exact place, with the exact people, with the exact memory that shrowds around that particular, captured moment ? . Or awkwardly, repeating everything I think I said the 8th time I chatted with so-and-so, expecting so-and-so to reply the exact same thing that so-and-so said in the first place ? . You can't repeat the exact stroke of your first circle, even on the 99999th try. Amirite.

You see, two traits that will never go well with each other even in hell. Being too sentimental, and having a knack for procrastinating things. We all know what a douchebag Procrastination could be. It's the other trait that I'm more worried about. It sucks to be too sentimental, that you can't help it. You can't let go off things that were once working parts of a worthy memory. This little plague of mine, can't be healthy. Just for the record of keeping it all sentimental, I've kept ; A used band-aid, An empty box of J.Co donuts, A small wooden heart, a keychain of Mickey Mouse's glove, a cup of black remains of what was once a rose, a hair clip, a Ben-10 cookie (in the fridge, c'mon), among other things. It comes to no surprise that I can recall the smallest details in the past, but not the biggest bulge of Captain Obvious from 4 minutes ago. Jood golly. This can't be good. I can't just flash the finger to the past, and ride off into the sunset like nothing happened. The past made me. It's in the future that, I want to know how the past builds up like a tower of Uno Stack'O towards how I am now, or later.

Holy bull, this is pathetic. I always go off track and end up sounding like a sobbing slit-me-wrists. Fine, my laptop got formatted. Get, over, it, Giddy-Mc-Clingy. Honestly, today wasn't all that bad. I shouldn't have a speck of reason in the world to be complaining. I landed a Jimmy Carlin's signature, I should be happy. Moooovin' on.

Screw all this useless yappings. I swear something's real good is gonna be posted up soon. And it's in HQ ! . So stay spooned :)