Saturday, July 11, 2009

All Sirs Serves Shivering Sire

Oh great, I feel an ulcer, wait (!) , make it TWO ulcers coming out. Dang, I dislike them to their very inner nucleus.

Usually they pop out just like that *snap fingers. But this particular one has a story behind it's blood-red bump/crease or whatever the ulcer forms as.

One day I was eating Tandoori Chicken. Was it a good Tandoori chicken, yes it was. Like any aftermath of eating anything meat, some gonna tuck themselves comfy in between the mattress of teeth. So in one tragic attempt of taking the chicken strands out of one of the tooth, I pushed my finger in hard to pull it out, I slipped, and in one graceful motion, I accidentally scrapped a healthy lump out of my left inner cheek. FML

Although I looked kinda cool, spitting out blood, checking the wound out in the mirror, like I just got into a bar fight. But truth is, HOLY MOLLY IT F-IN HURT LIKE BEEJEEETHUS. Phew.

The scrape did not just end there, from just an uneven texture in the cheeks, it turned to a BURNINN' uneven texture in the cheeks. Also known as, ulcers.

Oh yeah, I still remember one time when I was little, I thought ulcers are some form of cancer (can
CER, and ulCER, you see. SHUTTUPP YOU THOUGHT SANTA WAS REAL) and bragged to my cousin that I've a deadly disease like my Digimon Digivolved to a cooler one than hers or something. Kids, sure are proud of the darndest things.

Sure it's annoying to constantly having a mini cactus garden in your mouth, but that's okay, you'll get used to it. But this, this made me feel like I wanna be Mr. Potato Head so I can just plug my mouth out.

You know when you give an honest, full smile, your eyes will tend to get slanted as the cheeks softly squishes your lower eyelids ? :

As so,

But when you have ulcers, you can't exactly stretch one giant smile without risking tearing those ulcers apart, unless you do it very, very slowly. But you don't stretch a big smile in slo-mo when you wanna say HI to people don't you ? . It's friggin creepy it ain't t even funny. This isn't some Bollywood blockbuster, where smiling in slow motion while playfully hiding behind trees wearing a different outfit from the one that was worn a few seconds ago, won't invite a solid punch to the face out of reflex.

So for that, you can only smile halfway, thus exerting insufficient push from the cheeks to slant the eyes. So you'll look something likeeeee,



If ever I smile like Chucky, I swear it's honestly intended for good and not having secret plants to kill you in your sleep, I sweaarrrrr. It's the f-in ulcerssss :(

Wtf, I just made a whole post on ulcers. I hope you still like my blog. I'll make a cover on the world of high fashion and celebrity gossips by next week okay ? . Please still do tune in :(

Byeee *gives the Chucky smile


Substancial blogger with Androgynous manner said...

No still loving it , you post great post(s)

okay how is tht sounds .. alot of ost at the tip of lips. -_-'

Ashtaroth said...

hehe thanks deeee :D

naddiemomochie said...