Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Toilettries Try To Treat Three To This

I'm supposed to relate this metaphor with a toilet bowl and well, the brownies we bake inside our tummies, but I might just disgust you readers to an OMGEWGROSSLIKEOMG (!) panic attack and dash the cursor to the 'X' button in one swift motion, thus the main point of this post will not be delivered, so I'm gonna replace, uhm, the brownies, nuts or no nuts, choc syrup or no choc syrup, soft or soggyyyYYEY EY EY EH OKAY STAYY RIGHT THERE PLEASE, with loo roll *in Neil Buchanan's accent.

So imagine this, you throw a loo roll into the toilet bowl (a magical one that'll never dissolve in contact of water), and you know you're supposed to flush it down, but you don't, you keep throwing loo rolls inside the toilet bowl each and every time you feel like it, but skipped the flushing part, you know you have to, but you just skip it, thinking you'll flush it down later in one go.

But when the loo rolls make a mini replica of the Everest, and you finally decide to go hell with it and push em' spiralling down into the watery abbyss, you'll just realize the effort ain't as easy as you thought.

One, you might sprain your fingers silly on the last place you'd imagine on earth, the friggin toilet pump/pedal.

Two, the heaps of loo rolls are not gonna sink in down in all grace and poise, it might get stuck, or get splopped around sloppily.

Three, if they actually did sink down, they're not gonna just spin around real fast and get sucked in like a champ like in the cartoons, where even a full bungalow get slurped in the smelly blackhole in a matter of seconds. No. It's gonna get down and jiggy with it painfully ssss-s-ss-l-looww. If the loo rolls are pizza delivery men, you might make a mini Everest replica with the free pizzas coupon too.

SO THE LESSON OF THIS SANITARY STORY IS, do not procrastinate, like me, and have unfinished blog posts in drafts, and in head, like me. BUT I WILL TRY TO FLUSH IT ALL DOWN THE NEXT POST, okay ? . Kthxilybye :D