Hide Beside The Slide

After weeks, or maybe a month, tolerating the disheartening fact that it hurts to flick my board out of a faulty ankle. Today, finally I can kickflip again :D , *yeay. Although it still sting a lil' when I overworked the flipping motion, but all and all, it felt goooooooooooood to roll on those wheels and burst the sweat out back again :)


Oh and, I guess I still suck at sorting out stuffs. I'm sorry man :/

Scorched Torch On The Porch.

You would not believe on what had just happened. And yes, this is the fastest update ever because it happened just a few seconds ago. Yes, readers, seconds(from the moment this paragraph was written). Go gasp in awe.


Read This :

My house ALMOST got on frikkin fire.


I was online-ing like the usual, breathing, like the usual UNTIL what I breathed in, smelt funny. It smelt like roasted chestnuts. I don't like that smell. First, I ignored it, maybe it's just the smell of toast, who knows my dad accidentally burned a bread black when he was making supper. Then, the smell gets stronger, and it started to choke my throat. Soon, it smelled reallly, REALLY baaaaaahdd, so I just had to go out of my room to check where the hell the smell's coming from. The moment my door was opened, what greeted my sight made me go WHATTHEEFAKKKKKKKKKKKKK O___O !!

I saw smokes, puffs and puffs of it. And it smelled so sharp and bad, it made my eyes water. I trailed the source of the smoke, and I saw a smokin' pot containing a healthy lump of I-don't-know-what-the-f**k-it-used-to-be. I saw

THIS:


FAIL


I quickly then switched off the fire, wanted to enlarge my nostrils for I did something a little heroic, but it smelt horrible, so I didn't.

I woke my parents up then, to tell them what had just happened. A small, teeny weeny argument happened, on who used the stove last. Turned out it was Dad, he was boiling sugar to make pickled mangoes and forgot to turn off the fire. Who would've an idea in the world, that something as sweet as sugar could turn out to look that nasty. Damn. That looked almost as bad as a horribly sunburned pair of George W. Bush's asses.

I'm just glad that nothing exaggerated to something worse. Alhamdulillah




Oh, and BTW, Happy Earth Hour you guys :)

Do Not Rot Little Knots.

You know what I need right now ? I bet you don't.


What I want is, to suddenly implode, and burst right up to the sky, and mess up what's on the ground with the shock waves. And then, up in the infinite blue plains, there will be fluffy clouds, that gather to hold my retreat, my escape, my ventilation, and MINE alone.

And what will greet me is a door. Those kind where you'll have to go through at the airport, and will beeeeepppp if there's anything metallic you are carrying. But this door right here, instead of metal stuffs, it'll detect, all the shit, all the clutter, all the barbed wires that wraps around your brain, and your weighing chest. You'll feel a little tingle, and see your problems, after the other, being collected and be put in a bin for safekeeping right before your eyes. All's good, and you're good to go. The moment you take off your filthy shoes and step pass through the line..

YOU

FEEL

NOTHING

You walk around on the bouncy clouds, and feel the softness of the white ground, stroking the soles of your feet,glancing around to look for that perfect spot to just unwind. You pick the very edge of the cloud, dust off the part where your ass will lay, slowly you will sit down along with letting a sigh of relief and let your feet dangle over the clouds.


As the soothing breeze whips through your hair (at this point, no matter how bad of a hairday you're having, suddenly it'll be shampoo ad material) , and the sweetest oxygen sweeps and cleanse through your chaotic insides, you will enjoy the view below you. You'll see a prematurely bald middle-aged man, rushing to and fro of his office cubicle everyday without fail, and see his hair gradually falls as the work papers pile up. You'll see a fat guy with a moustache, swimming across his swimming pool of dollar bills, and a blind man smiles an inch wider everytime he hears a clank in the metal cup in between his frail hands. You'll see murders, upon murders out of vengeance and lust, failed to be kept behind metal bars of their mind. You'll see suicides, performed in every imaginable way possible, out of countless scenarios of how life backfires, and gazillions reasons why, do they do it, to only end ONE, single thing. Sad. You'll see a pony-tailed, plump princess, getting whatever in the world she wants, and if you turn your head a little bit, you'll see a small, bony figure, prying off bits of rice on the ground shooing off the flies, hovering about him. You'll see the gentlest heart tap, to the nastiest heart shatter. You'll see tears, one rolls down over smiling cheeks, the other wets a dry frown. You'll see butterflies dancing round a field of daisies, and maggots squirming on lifeless corpses and carcasses. You'll see how lies constructs a giant temporary structure, to be only demolished by a single blow of honesty. You'll see lost souls, drowning in the sea of alcohol and be crushed with icebergs of drugs. You'll see bullets fly, bombs drop and innocent lives taken, with a background music of a sinister laughter. You'll see a little kid hates love itself and find love in hating. And that's only a fraction among other things that you'd never have an idea of. You close your eyes, and you get up.


You can't take it anymore, it's too overwhelming.


One last look at the earth below you, and you head back to the door. The shits in the bin you left out earlier, all sucked into your chest like a vortex. You shake your head, not wanting to go back down. But suddenly, you'll feel a vague force, pushing you down. Caught off-guard, you pummel down to earth like a comet. You see the earth that used to look like a tiny notch of brown, to be clearer, and nearer, and closer ANDD..


THUD !


You wake up from a dream that required no sleep, with an alarm clock by the brand of Reality.

Damn

Check The Wreck Jack

Hey do0dz and do0dettez, I've just a made side-blog to house in the contents of my brain :)


Checkkiittaaauuut :


http://vanquish-the-ventriloquist.blogspot.com/


Enjoiieeeeeeee :)

Honesty On A Stick.

If it has a door, it'll look something like this.




Holy shit, not again.


I'm starting to think it was never their fault, well not for the most part of it at least. You were all different, but it will always ends up the same way. So that could only roll down to one conclusion,

I, just, plainly suck.


What bummed me out the most is that, it all went kapoot right before I could even prove my potential. I'm sick of it I tell you, sick of falling in it and falling out of it. It made gravity a joke, because you thought you were going up, with a jetpack running on the fuel of hope and sweet sentences, when it was a busted parachute all the whole while. I'm tired.

If you think you're scared of our kind to grow a pair of horns and a tail towards the end of the phase (mostly triggered by those who thinks by the tail in front), and keeping em even after the phase is over, then imagine the fear of those who begs to differ, on repeated rejections.


What the hell's wrong with me man. Damn,I need a can of Redbull to brush this haywire off my chest.

There's No Other Awesome-er Mother

As Of 15th Of March 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHERR ! <3 :) ♥

The continuation of this post shall be pending, it's supposed to be put up with somethin-somethin that I'm currently working on :)

Deary Demeanour For Dining In The Diner For Dinner

This is just a random one, just for the sake of sympathy to see what's on the right side of my blog, under the archives. Sigh, March (2), I am sorry . Alright, now make it March (3) ! :D


Highlights of the day ?

I'll do it tomorrow :)

See yehh !

The Witch Leeched My Sandwich, B-tch (!)

I've so much in my head that it's not even funny. I don't even know where to start, but that's nowhere near as deadly as me not knowing where to stop. With exaggerations running in my veins, and procrastination made everything accumulate, expect this one to be a long read. And I mean, a really LONGGGGGG one. Go grab a coffee or something, Caffeine is good to keep you awake throughout this whole thing, and the song, if it's not helping, yes you may pause it. So here I go :)


One Saturday, I went to my friend's birthday party, Syafique. And with gathered complaints on the massive thickness of Bob, and wishes to see a major make-over. I decided, on the afternoon itself to thin Bob for all it's mercy. I've watched once on E!, about the Do's and Dont's of wedding whatnots, and one of em was, DO NOT, get a haircut (or a tan) before the big thing. Sigh. Sure, Bob looked fine after it's all blown dry and all. But towards the end of the day, when mysteriously Bob dried up like the Sahara, it looked like, I'm sorry Bob,..shiat. But enough about Bob, it's about the party. It was a COSTUME party. How we got our costumes, (US meaning me, Matt, Nabil, Izhar, Adrie, Amir, and Aiman) is a little bit random, with a tinge of coincidence. They wanted to hang around first and buy some ciggies, since the party hasn't started yet, then we saw, our costumes, settling nicely in plastic eggs.
(Ala, mesin tikam tu) . 50 cents were inserted, and there we go, our costumes, handsome, fluffy, MOUSTACHES :D . Of various thickness and shapes. Oh did we look smashing. Nabil look like some Mexican, only he was missing a Sombrero. Matt looked like a 70's dad. I, well they said, looked like Dave Grohl, ehehe :") . Well the moustache looked like it really grew on Izhar's upper lip, it looked so naturale. Adrie, too, looked, like a mexican mofo. Amir, looked like a Dato' , and Aiman, with his moustache to be only in the shades of light gray, looked like a grandpa, a cranky one. I don't have a picture tho, but my college friend happened to be the photographer, so I'll post em here the moment I get em :) . There were live bands, or a Monoxide reunion gig as I saw it as. The beef chops were delish tho. Oh the best costume had to be, Syaf's mum. She was Fred Flinstone with a rainbow fro :D .

Oh shit, this is only the first bit of the whole sandwich. I'll try my outmost best to shorten the rest below.

Then, the next day, Sunday is ANOTHER birthday. Tira Ben 10's :) . But the story did not start directly at the party. Earlier the day, I was rehearsing, for something, which I will elaborate on the next paragraph, fret not ;) . I bought a plain slip-ons from Summit, to doodle on for a present. So in the time gap of only 3 hours, wait make it 2, slept the, soon regretted, first hour off. So, as I stare semi proudly on the XLR8 painted on those shoes, I remembered I've to get ready, as Mus was about to fetch me. Mus was already on his way, and I've only switched on the hairdryer to prep Bob off. Bob was in, a VERY, very bad shape at the time, a few minutes would not do any justice anyhow. Sigh. Why did I ever had that haircut. Bob was bad, now it's bloody worse. So whatever. Kota Kemuning, doesn't have the friendliest roads, that's fer sure. We had to go over, err, I've lost count, roundabouts to just end up at the starting line, that's in the form of a signboard that wrote "Kota Kemuning(straight), Kemuning Utama(left). Finally, when we're there, the amount of people present, made me to pretend I was tying my shoes when infact the knots were just fine, just so, the time for me to go inside, is prolonged. That pre-party awkwardness, I hate that. So, then, the normal party works, I ate, I tried not to spill anything, Tried to brush off that feeling of stink-eyes are watching my every move. Oh, one conversation with this one lady, made me to confirm "That's it, Bob you're going off" . Damn. At least Tira loved the shoes :) . Oh and thankyouuu for the rock hard, frozen Segi's Valentine cookie :)


From this



To this :)


Tira, the birthday girl and Utt :)

Wow it's only story no.3 , and it's already as long as how long I took to know that lingerie is pronounced as lounge-a-ray, rather than, linger-rie. That was unecessary, I know.

And what was on on Monday, was what I was rehearsing for. A small play for Mus's assignment. Now get this, there were two actors, me, a boy, and Mus's sister, a girl. And the character we had to play was, Cat Lady, an old female granny, and Alex, a male pervert. Now by the stressing of gender, with tinges of sarcasm, I know you can already guess, which played which. Yes, mother of mercy, I WAS THE SAGGY SOOMAKAH, CAT LADY. And Mus's sister was Alex. Oh the irony. As that sounded bad enough, my ever so creative friend, asked us to wear COSTUMES, YEAYY :D . I shaved off every living life out my stubble just so I would fit the part, I had painted on wrinkles, and here's the classic part, I had to wear a baju kurung, a kain batik, and a selendang, that rests lightly on my head to reveal a front portion of beehive Bob, just like a Mak Datin. Don't forget the croaky accent. Mercy was given more, on Mus's sister where she had only to put on a cap, and a painted moustache, and a beard. YES, I HAVE PICTURES AND A FEW VIDEOS IN MY PHONE :D , but hell no it's going on the net ! , and if you're good with the negotiation, I've to hold your phone just so you won't abuse the magic of Bluetooth. I acted like a nut anyways, with plenty of stutters and brief amnesia moments. But for the sake of paving my memory lane, oh what the heck :) . Then, the lecturer treated us all at Mamak Village. The lecturer reeked of charisma and witty wisdom, with his Utara slang and few missing teeth, his stories, even on snooze-level topics like politics, he made it funny :)




....


Azlan, Epic Failure, Mus the scarily creative director, Scarily creative director's sister


Okay story number four's done. I shall squeeze in just one more, just one last bit. Go wash your face or something.


And on Tuesday, I went to Segi to help Azlan for his side project. Damn, Segi was so empty I could've almost imagine that dust-twig-brush ball that usually rolls on a desserted cowboy town, rolling on Segi's polished tiles. I had to act, and wear costumes again, hm alright, it was only a mask. But still, it was a mask of a lower half of a mutated human rhino. I wanted to wear Mus's own made Joey Jordison's mask. Damn, you made me into a wrinkly weezer, and still, blegh, nvm :P . Hahaa. So, it was basically an extension of the play I acted in on Monday (the same script applied even to Azlan, and other I-forgot-the-name-of-the-course's students). J, a new friend I made that day, was this maniac court jester crook (complete with a masquerade, and matching antics) . So, what I was basically, an accomplice who finally betrays what J acted as, along with Azlan and Mus, which at the end of the thing, beat the life out of J. I was also responsible for flicking the lights, on and off 8) . Sure, it was a wrap for the play, but not a wrap for my day ;) . Then, later that night, me, Mus and Faye, randomly had a crazy idea. Mus and Faye took turns to wear Joey's mask, and I was still stuck with the rhino retard look, but that's okay, noone would recognize me anyhow, and we terrorized the streets of PJ, while in the comfort of the car's leather seats 8) . We peeked our heads out and turn to cars beside us, and we : 1) Made a chinese old man smile 2) Made a guy to pretend to not see us, and to cover up his chicken feathers, he shakily bopped his head to some radio song in shivers and made a phone call without his lips even moving 3)Made UM girls in a Kancil to screaaaammm and slow the Kancil drastically down 4)Made an indian woman scream with bulged eyes, to a standstill 5) Made a bus driver roll down his window, slowly revealing his confused look, and his moustache 6)Made an awkward conversation with a macho indian "Mat Kereta" , which soon zoomed off as quick as hell the moment the traffic light's green. To calm down the insane laughter session, we decided to cool off with a sheesha at Faris Advanced :)





Slipknot new lineup, HarHar


Played drums upside down.


Why ?

Actually, I still some little bits and pieces to spill on here, but to shed some mercy, I'll spare it for another post. Thanks for reading, to those who did not give up hope. I hope this won't happen again, I mean, sandwich-ing all my posts in one oversized blob. Peace :)

"In Your Faces, Alligators" - Iffat

Man, this feeling's strange. You know the kind where you went to your hometown for a tad bit too long, and when you're finally home, as a familiar aura wraps around you, and you say "I'm homeeeeeee" .Ahah, that's it.


So my dear neglected, fungus-filled blog, "I'm homeeeee :D"


To celebrate my "mampus tak layan" return, I decided to spice things up with a new blog layout. And I don't think a plain, mundane, simple, blank, "-_-" white layout deserves the term "spicing up" , but oh what the hekk, the robots in my last layout were getting rusty.

And yes, 98.998856 % of you my readers, you have your prayers answered. No more bleeding ears, and no more light-speed mouse-to-pause-button action. I've my Kangarooster Meadows removed, in replacement, with a much, much more calming tune :)


A lot had happened in the time gap between this post, and the last one. And not your normal "I woke up, had breakfast, went out for a drink, dinner, sleep" blog posts, one even me involved me in my mum's baju kurung and selendang, AND HELL NO THERE AINT GONNA BE PICTURES FOR THAT ONE !!, Bob's bloodshed, and other shenanigans.


So, yeah, stay tuned ? :)