Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Slug Lagging On Sludged Ledges

As of the 17th of August 2009

No, I'm not writing a post to remind you about my birthday yesterday and still welcome in belated birthday wishes ( Although, seriously I do welcome still, belated birthday wishes :D ) .

I'm here, to wish one of the greatest greats that have ever got greeted the greatest greeting, at the Gate of the Greats, a happy birthday.

Untwist those tongues, and let's toast our root beers and give the most blood-curdling birthday shout to the Godfather of Street Skating..



No, not that ironic guy who sucks RED blood, but still is as pale as a freezing albino, something-Cullen,

I mean,


He's even handsomer than you

Wipe that smug of your face, I know you have an awesome-er nickname which you got from OWNING ! . Not owning anything worthy even, like a real expensive pair of limited shoes, you're just "OWNING".

From Globe Opinion

and this..

From Almost Round 3

And now, reminisce about your nickname and think real deeply on how far it will take you in life.

Skateboarding was once only a replica of surfing. Instead of ocean waves, they used to surf curvy concretes. Instead of water tension, they applied wheels. Instead of words like "Gnarly surf man" or "Dude, where's my surfboard wax ?" , there were "How do you even skate with leotards that tight ?" and "I can see your bulge from here" .

"Hey nice handstand ma..Oh, good morning to you too"

Okay I'm sorry, that in the picture is Rodney. Even the man himself was caught guilty for skating with very restricted crotch movements. He was way wayyyy up there in his own league, EVEN with those tight ball-chokers. When he slowly phased to baggy pants, he reigns a million miles above our expectations on what can be done on a wooden board with four wheels.

He's also the Leonardo Da Vinci of skateboarding. He invented most of the basic tricks all skaters apply to this very day, like kickflips, heel flips and tre flips, and even the bottomline basic : The Ollie.

Nope, not Alan Gelfand, he does that off verts, without really popping the board, Rodney popped his shit of the ground, WITHOUT CONCAVES.

And he does not stop there, from basic butter to the most complicated, technical footwork. With his next trick, surpassing logic even higher from his last one. Like a Primo Slide right here :

He actually flipped into that, and moved, fast, and landed back on his two feet, and isn't that a cat ?

For the contents in his bag of tricks ; Click HERE
And remember, the list is just gonna get longer, and longer, and longer, and longer, and longer.....

Trust me, when you think you've seen it all, you're pretty much haven't seen nothing yet with this guy.

A small part from Globe's United By Fate.

He's 42 while doing all of the above inhumane wizardry. And he's going Goofy (a term used for someone skating with his left foot stepping at the back of the board) when he's originally a Regular (same as Goofy's description, only the back foot is right). While we can't even write our names with our other hand without it looking like Hieroglyphs, drawn by baby Pharoahs.

To add insult to the injury, he went from Regular to Goofy in that video, due to the news of him breaking his pelvis.

Now, slam your writing hand with a sledgehammer til it shatters the bone inter-connecting both of your arms, and again try writing your name with your other hand. Now it's gonna look like Hieroglyphs, written by baby Pharoahs, with a pen lodged in their butt-holes.

Sure, he ain't jumping down massive set of stairs, grinding down ridiculously long handrails or jumping off mega ramps. But keep in mind that, he's the one who pulled off the splinter blocking the progress of the cogwheels of skateboarding. The cogwheel, that is spinning ever so rapidly, getting more complex day by day. Without him, we would still be surfing cement, and Caveman-ing over gaps, instead of Kickflipping. The awesomeness of today's modern skating, must've had it's starting line, and Rodney Mullen marked that line by Primo-Sliding over it.

He's the most revolutionary thing that had ever happened to skateboarding. And again, let's toast our rootbeers for that .