Monday, August 10, 2009

Sore Saurus Soars With Searing Swords




Just for a little segment of FYI, I'd like to tell you that,

When 56 seconds passed the clock hands after they've struck 12.34 pm/am on the 7th of the 8th month, August, 2009 ( or 09' ),

Or simply put, the order of time and space thought us how to count,

12 hour 34 minutes 5 6 seconds, 7th of the 8th month, 09

And like the math teacher you hate, he/she really meant it when he/she said he/she was only gonna show it once.

So, here's a belated HAPPY 123456789 day to all of you :D



Anyways,


I told you how I really wanted the World Stage tickets right ? . And you must've thought that moshing half-heartedly to sounds of blasted car speakers and hawkers shouting "Kuih-kuih !" being the only attempt of me trying to win the tickets, didn't really show how much I yearned for the tickets. But did I tell you, why I wiggled unnecessarily in public in the first place, is because I didn't give up from the contest, that I entered 5 times ?

Bet you sekupang I didn't, so now I will ; There was this contest that Junk held :

1. Leave us a comment in this post telling us what you would do for a pair of MTV World Stage "Live In Malaysia" passes. (Funny and creative comments encouraged.)

I don't know what's so creative about going naked to a 24-hours convenience store and buying himself a Snickers. Maybe the people at Junk pictured him being a fat late-night snacker with a really small pe- Alright I'm just being a sore loser. So big in fact, I wrote one whole essay (which I dont think they even read it) about it ;

*Sorry to writer of winning comment, I like Snickers too.


Right after three losing entries :


Ashraf said

If I win the tickets, I wouldn't buy the plane ticket to wherever AAR is performing next, which I will do If I don't win this. But the thing is, I'm expecting Tyson to speak Bahasa Melayu like "Malaysia Boolay !" . Money can buy me that plane ticket, but Tyson shouting my country's tagline is priceless :(



Ashraf said

You know sometimes in life you just gotta,
Act fast, like finding a toilet when you have diarrhea,
And when you don't, you'll feel like a pile of shit,
Now to top it off, you just need someone's face to hit.

Don't judge me by my first few lines,
I'm not that violent, nor am I insane,
I just like my rhymes, and my metaphors,
Til I don't get that tickets, you won't hear me snore



Ashraf on his 3rd attempt said

Like how they all say, third time's a charm ey guys ?

,,Right, guys ? :D

..Guys ?

...G-g-Ah who am I kidding.



Not wanting to annoy the f-k out them, or to appear suckier then how sucky I already sucked,


I decided to change my nickname to something funny and creative, just like how they encouraged ;

This is that sore-loser theory story, a bit of a long read but just bear with the vaccum of my suckiness.

Anonymoustache said

You know, to every bad thing that happens in life, somehow, someway, you'll pop your forehead-vein out, just to see the silver lining of the dark, gloomy, rain cloud on top of one's head ;

But, there's two, that applies this in their life;

One - An optimist,

Two - A sore loser, who'll find, anything and everything around that tiny ray of hope, and exaggerate the options to be so big, that to himself, his self-made conclusions are gajillion times better than the event or whatever he wishes to be at, alongside cursing the most diabolic things to happen at that particular place he couldn't attend to.

I bring you guys an example, of how an optimist and a sore loser would except his/her defeat of not winning the golden tickets ;

An optimist would go ,

"Oh well, at least my friends would enjoy themselves there, and who knows one of them would be nice enough to get me an autographed, Pixie Lott's t-shirt that will still linger of her perfume, or better yet, her - (Alright, what I might include may become too optimistic, and strip me off this chance altogether, but you get my idea).

Soon, the optimist will NOT go home and find a dark corner of his room to slit his wrist, and write poems with the black blood he bled. Instead, he'll bring his other optimistic friends to a bar, or maybe just a round of teh-tarik just to you know, get the optimistic vibe going.

A sore loser -

Upon finding out his name is not listed as the winner, he would take a brief moment to inhale, and shout the loudest *bleep* to all his heart's content. He'll then curse you Junkies with every foul word he knows, in every language he knows too, like "Babi, bodoh, sial, mahai, cibai ungge tatek kunji ilek" and the likes.

He, will then wait for the World Stage day itself, not realizing there are other ways of getting the tickets in that time gap of waiting, and go somewhere nearby, MOS, perhaps ? when the day arrives. He'll wait outside, restless, but his posture is as cool as his popped-up collar Polo shirt. He'll constantly look up at the sky and say "Hmph, it's gonna rain for sure, you guys have fun bathing in the acid rain while I'll have all the fun INDOORS, and while you guys are at it, be sure to get struck by lightning too,MWAHAHAHA !" .
Not out loud of course, he has to keep it cool to show em' who's boss.

But later that night, after discovering on how empty the MOS's dancefloor turned out to be, and how loud the cheering crowd next door is (with a large portion of them supposed to be at MOS that night, if it weren't for World Stage), he'll still won't admit on how much of a loser he is becoming, and say "Hmph, it'll rain anytime sooooooon now, eheh" sipping slowly on his beer, after he decided he was too cool for the dancefloor.When infact the crowd was too small and he was embarrassed when a girl laughed at him when he busted his moves. On normal, fully packed days, no one would notice him because there would be too many people for him to steal the spotlight. Such an optimist he is.

He would then go off, and would feel bad for the World Stage goers for not having fun as much as him. He would then make-believe that the drenched people that went to World Stage, were not soaked with sweat from rocking the night out, but supposedly from the rain he cursed on them.

The roads are dry though, but not his eyes.

How would they react if they win, you might ask ? . I've been both, I'd show you guys first-hand, if who knows.. ;)

EH HEH heh heh hmm, k-notfunny.


I guess since someone cared so much about sore-losing, he must've been one of the sore losers that thought they could get around the bush and be refreshingly funny just by changing his nickname. I bet Junk didn't find it funny and creative, instead found it as more gasoline to the raging fire of annoyance.


Thought I would give up after excreeting every ounce of funniness and creativity ?


Nope here's another one by the sore, blistering loser :


Anonymoustache said

You know how the comedy movies are piling in and the jokes are getting more and more repetitive ? . Yeah, once a golden classic, is now just a stale slapstick.

But there's still one thing, that to this day, hasn't grow old yet. And that is,

Running full speed, looking back while laughing menacingly and hit a solid metal pole the next second.

It'll get everyone, EVERY time.

So for the ticket Junk, I shall demonstrate just that. You have my word.


Nope, I didn't even manage to tickle their dislocated funny bone even with a classic. You would laugh if you see someone suffering head trauma after a shattering knock to a stripper pole, won't you ?


Thought so,


I even had a fan,


Hqal said

haha i like Anonymoustache's story on that optimistic and sore loser thing..


Alright fine guys, that was me. You caught me red-handed due to the sores of losing. But all I was trying to do was trying to get you fine, handsome, beautiful lads at Jun- Neh, membodek never , EVER, works. Just some deadly explosives to be thrown to the already deadly concoction of gasoline in that fire of annoyance.


There's one involving my bodily flaws tho, so I won't show it publicly due to self-esteem issues or getting responses such as "Ee bapak gedik sial ". So good luck finding it under that pool of pus squeezed out of the sores of them losers. A clue would be, the name starts with a "B" for bodily flaws.


Now this is a handful. Repost "Cataclysmic" on my chatbox if some of you guys actually finished reading from top to bottom. You'll get a free rootbeer.



2 comments:

Azam said...

cult... eh fuck jap tukar tab...
catac.. camna nak eja nii....
haa nah.
"Cataclysmic" on my chatbox if some of you guys actually finished reading from top to bottom. You'll get a free rootbeer.

where's my beer?

Ashtaroth said...

With ice-cream or no ice-cream ? :D